Sentimentality & Regret

Last weekend the César side of my family had a huge party to celebrate my Gran’s 90th birthday, and it was a really wonderful evening to see family I haven’t seen in years, from all over the world.

Sadly at the end of the evening I thought my handbag had gone missing, or been stolen, it wasn’t within the venue therefore I had a full on panic attack. I’d driven down to the party so without my car keys I had a struggle to get home, plus obviously all the important things were in my purse and as well my phone was in there too. Disaster. However the only thing I could think of with my handbag missing was A) why has this happened and B) I keep this little card in my purse from mum, and the only reason I broke down in tears was the thought of a stranger having that and not knowing how much it meant to me.

In retrospect, I know it’s just a piece of plastic, but it’s so much more than that to me. I’m sentimental with the most ridiculous of things and most of the time I wish I wasn’t because then it’d make it easier for if I ever do lose them. Thankfully I got my bag back and everything was fine but lorrrrrd was I stressed and beside myself until then.

Fast forward to tonight where I’m looking through old photos from the last time I went to New York City, getting excited for it again as I’m visiting in a couple weeks. I was watching through some little videos of the city and mum was talking in the background – wow if there’s one way to set me off that is it. Looking through the rest of the photos I wish there more of us together, not that there isn’t a few ridiculous ones of mum (she loved to be silly) but for me there just isn’t enough.

Nowadays people get mocked for taking too many photos or too many videos, it’s quickly dismissed as vanity or whatever but if I could go back to that holiday – to ANY time in my life and make sure we had more photos of mum and I together I’d do it in a heartbeat.

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This is probably one of the reasons I like to take so many photos and make videos, I want to remember every happy moment and have it documented so I can always have them with me. I don’t want to have more regrets like this.

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